Alien in the Family (3) Read online

  “Works for me,” Chuckie said. He was still examining the living solar system in front of us.

  “What do you mean about the Poofs being hot?” Alexander asked.

  “Hot, stolen, removed from their owner’s possession without said owner’s consent, lifted, shifted, grabbed and bagged.”

  “Oh. We didn’t steal them.” He was telling the truth, from what I could tell. “They were given to us. But . . .”

  “But?”

  “Amazing.” Chuckie looked over at Martini. “I heard about the first one. It bonded to you, didn’t it?”

  Martini shrugged. “I guess.”

  “No, Harlie did, Jeff. Harlie likes Jeff, right?” The Poof started to purr up a storm. All of them joined in.

  Alexander nodded. “They didn’t bond to me or Gregory. That’s why we knew—” He stopped himself.

  The light dawned. “That’s why you knew you had to come and find someone they would bond with? Because they’re a part of the succession process?”

  “Yeah.” Alexander looked down.

  “Shut up,” Gregory hissed.

  “Oh, Greg, stop it.” I went back near them. “There’s a reason Moira and her mate are here, isn’t there? A reason you know about. All of you.” He wouldn’t look at me. I dropped my voice. “If anything happens to Jeff or Christopher, I’ll hurt you in ways you’ve never imagined. I’ll make it last for what will seem like forever. I’m a human, you know I can do it.”

  He looked right at me. “I know you won’t. He might,” he nodded toward Chuckie. “But not you.” He swallowed. “We’ve been watching you, all of you.”

  I kept my eyes on Gregory’s face. “Queen Renata, Moira and her mate, and however many of your other dissidents, you arrested them, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Because they were planning to kill the king of Alpha Four, correct?” Gregory drew in his breath.

  “Yes.”

  “But the sentient net let them out, didn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is the king dead?”

  “He lives, but just barely.”

  “And Moira and her mate escaped, with the help of the sentient net, and made it here. I’ll bet they used the gate that sent my A-Cs here all those years ago. It’s locked to us, but not to the home planet.”

  “Yes,” Renata confirmed. “As far as we can determine.”

  “Greg? Why is the Queen of the Amazonian Nutcases the only one willing to tell me the truth?” He swallowed but didn’t reply. “No worries. I know why. Because, unlike you, she’s not a gutless coward.”

  I spun around and walked over to the door. “Let’s get out of this room, Chuckie and Poofs.” It was that or I was going to try to kill them. The door was opened, and we all exited. The delegates stood there, still in solar system formation. “Take a look, folks. You’re never going to see a better collection of cowardice and guilt anywhere.” I was so angry I was shaking.

  Martini came over and pulled my back against his chest. “Okay, I can already tell I’m going to hate it. What’s going on?” The Poofs went back to tiny. They all crawled up and onto my shoulders, though Harlie went onto Martini’s.

  “Want me to do it?” Chuckie asked softly.

  “Yeah.” I had to keep my teeth clenched. Martini gently moved some Poofs and started rubbing my neck.

  “We’re looking at a bid for power gone wrong.” Chuckie leaned against the glass. Like Martini, he made this look comfortable. “White’s cousins presumably expected to advance to the throne. Martini, however, has a more direct claim to it. He also chose a bride.”

  “Setting off the Alpha Four Alert System,” I added.

  “Right. Meaning that the most direct male descendant was going to get married and presumably start having some babies. Which would strengthen that line even more.”

  “I don’t want to go back there, so why does it matter?” Martini asked.

  “Old men get funny notions.” I looked up at him. “Maybe he feels sorry, or wishes he’d seen his son’s family, or seen you grow up. You’re the son of the son, the direct line.” I looked into the holding cell. “And unlike the options on the home world, you’re not gutless. You’re brave and strong . . . and a leader. So’s Christopher. Either one of you would be a better choice for ruler than the two in the room in front of us. But you, especially. You’ve been leading the A-Cs here for over ten years.”

  “And they’ve watched you the entire time,” Chuckie added. “Which is why the king, when he was attacked, decided it was time to revive the long-distance relationship. And why your cousins in there decided it was a great idea to hire some assassins to kill you.”

  “Jeff? That tracking thing’s in your pocket. Can you take it out?” He did. “Queen Renata, is this from your world?”

  She came to the glass, and Martini opened the washcloth and showed the feather-leaf thing to her. She nodded. “It is. How did you come by it?”

  “Moira stuck it in my purse after she’d almost killed one of our operatives, that best friend of mine we mentioned earlier. By the way, what’s her mate’s name?”

  “Kyrellis. She is extremely deadly.”

  “We guessed. So, when did the rest of you come on board? Before Moira and Kyrellis killed your leaders or after?” Okay, so I couldn’t shut up and let Chuckie do all the talking.

  “After they killed the head of Alpha Five,” Uma, of all people, answered. “We realized we’d created a monster we couldn’t stop.”

  “Yeah, I figured Greg wasn’t doing this on his own. So you’re all pretty much traitors to your home worlds, is that right? Other than Renata, who is somehow along for the ride.”

  “I am along because the assassins are my responsibility. They killed my mother, first, before they went to Alpha Four. I had to become queen far earlier than I had ever planned . . . or desired.” Queen Renata looked very old and tired for a moment, but then she recovered herself. “These did what they felt was best,” she indicated the others in the room. “Alpha Four is old and powerful. They control the rest of us. Many chafe under their hand.”

  “We can relate.”

  “This council was formed to expand the other planets’ self-determination.”

  I looked back up at Martini. “You come from the bossy stock, I see.”

  He snorted. “You should talk.”

  “So, Alpha Four’s got a battle cruiser after you guys, with good reason. And, of course, they don’t know if we’re with you or against you.”

  “Against,” Martini said dryly. “But, you know, they never listen to what we say.”

  “Figure Alpha Four assumes we started it,” Chuckie added. “Only those of us who know Martini would believe he wasn’t interested in a kingship.”

  “Too freaking true. Meanwhile, Greg there gave Moira and Kyrellis the heads-up that the most potent males in the line were here on Earth. They’re gunning for Jeff, Christopher, Paul, and Michael, for sure. They’ll probably try to wipe out more of the family, just in case.”

  “I doubt Greg talked to them directly,” Chuckie corrected me. “I’d guess Uma had a hand in it. She seems Moira’s type.”

  Uma gave him a dirty look. “Alpha Six has a female-led government, yes.”

  “Which probably saw the benefits of aligning with the fanatics. You know, I’m all for following the Feminist Manifesto, but nowhere in there was the suggestion made that we kill all the men and make do without them.”

  Uma shrugged. “Your world, your rules.”

  “Right. And our rules say you’re a bunch of traitors, to two solar systems.”

  “Your Majesty, we beg for clemency.” Gregory bent onto one knee. Alexander followed him, somewhat unwillingly.

  “I’m not the king. I’m not going to a world that only wants me when it’s convenient. And you can rot in hell for all I care. You’re endangering the world I care about and the people I love on it. You’re lucky I don’t just kill you right now and offer your dead bodies t
o whoever else shows up.” Martini was furious, but he was calmer than me, which was sort of surprising.

  “Please forgive us,” Alexander said quietly.

  “How much did you have to do with this plan?” I saw his expression and got a funny feeling.

  Alexander shook his head. “I support my brother.”

  “Does your brother know you’re the one who triggered the Royal Proposal light show back on the home world and here on Earth?”

  Alexander’s eyes went wide. “I . . . don’t know what you mean.”

  “Open the door!” Chuckie and Martini shouted in unison. There was a lot of that going on. Too many alpha males in one small space.

  Security flung it open, and the Poofs pretty much flew into the room, turning bigger as they did so. One tackled Uma before she was able to get Alexander with the knife she was holding, another knocked Gregory aside, and the others surrounded Alexander, with much growling and the showing of sharp teeth.

  “Good Poofies. Anyone else want to try to kill someone? No? Smartest move I’ve seen you people do yet. Poofies? Bring Alexander out, please. Oh, and take that nasty weapon away from the mean lady.” The Poof on top of Uma growled in her face. She dropped the knife; the Poof picked it up in its jaws and trotted out of the room behind the rest of them, looking very pleased with itself.

  I gave lots of Poof lovies, then turned to Alexander. “Sucks to be you, dude, but you could have given us the heads-up a lot sooner, you know.”

  He shook his head. “He’s my brother. He wanted the kingship so much . . . I didn’t realize he was out of control until it was too late. I did what I could.” He looked at Martini. “I’m sorry. For all of it.”

  “So, who can we trust besides you?”

  Alexander shrugged. “I’m not even sure you can trust me. So much has gone wrong . . . but Queen Renata is trying to fix things.”

  “So are we,” one of the Major Doggies said. “I am Willem. We have the support of our leader.”

  “Support to try to kill the Alpha Four royal family?” Chuckie asked pleasantly.

  “No,” Willem said. “Support to fix the damage we have caused.”

  One of the Cat People spoke up. “I am Felicia. We as well are along to help.”

  I looked at the Giant Lizards. “You speaking up there, Iguanodon?”

  “My name is Neeraj. This is Jareen. We do not appreciate your way of speaking to us, human.”

  “We don’t appreciate Giant Lizards coming by trying to screw our world over. So we’re even.” I thought about it. “How do they spell their names?”

  Alexander sighed. “Yes, each name is the other name spelled backward. It’s a mating thing on their world.”

  “So, they’re married? Which one’s the girl?”

  “Jareen is my female,” Neeraj said, clearly pissed off. “She is the most beautiful Reptilian on our world.”

  “Yeah, well, Jeff thinks I’m hot, too, but he didn’t rename me Ffej.”

  Martini laughed. “Oh, but it’s so cute, so you.”

  “We are not amused,” Neeraj said.

  “We don’t care,” Martini said pleasantly. “We don’t like you.”

  “You know, they’re all going to say they’re here to help.” Chuckie looked back at Alexander. “Who, besides Queen Renata, do you recommend we trust?”

  Alexander sighed. “They all need to help you, because they can’t go home unless this situation resolves in a positive way.”

  “Interstellar war bad for the image?”

  “Yes. But, I wouldn’t let anyone but Renata out of the room right now, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Alexander, how can you do this to us?” Uma shouted.

  He closed his eyes, but didn’t turn around. “I still have a shred of honor left, and I want to hold onto it.”

  “You are not my brother any longer,” Gregory said. He sounded hurt and furious.

  “I know.” Alexander looked like he was trying not to break down.

  “Jeff, what do you think?”

  Martini sighed. “Let Renata out. Alexander’s telling the truth, and she’s not our enemy. Leave the rest of them in there.” He pulled me back, out of the clutch of people, bent down and whispered in my ear. “I can’t tell on the lizards, dogs, or cats. I need to be around them more to see if I’m filtering their emotions correctly. There’s more going on than Gregory’s told Alexander; I can feel him hiding something. Lenore is basically clueless, and Uma’s a raving bitch, but you already knew that.”

  “Umm hmmm.” Him nuzzling my ear was really turning me on, scary interstellar plots or no.

  He laughed softly. “I love how, no matter what, you can always focus on the priorities.”

  “I want to go to Vegas.” And spend time in the huge suite. Spend time making like bunnies in every portion of the huge suite. It felt like ages since Martini had made me scream and beg for more.

  He kissed my ear. “Put on that outfit and tell me that.”

  I turned around. “You’ll be mine to do with as I please?”

  Martini grinned. “Probably.” He looked at my shoulders. “Okay, they’re cute, they’re cuddly, and they’re great at protection, so, as long as we don’t discover they turn on their masters for some weird reason, you can keep them.”

  “Oh, thanks! By the way, Poof Chow? Jeff, that was awesome.”

  “You’re rubbing off on me. I like it, don’t worry.”

  “I’d rather rub on you.”

  “I love how you think.”

  CHAPTER 32

  “I DEMAND DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY and to speak with your Diplomatic Corps!” Gregory shouted, giving imperious a good run.

  I snorted, but Martini looked uncomfortable. “Is this going to be a time when we’re again glad that Chuckie’s in charge?” I asked him quietly.

  “Yeah.” Martini jerked his head at Chuckie, who came over to us. “This could be a problem.”

  Chuckie shook his head. “Not for me. They’re suspected terrorists, not sanctioned diplomats. So, no chats with your Diplomatic Corps allowed.”

  White joined us. “If, however, Gregory is truly a member of the royal family, and I have no doubt that he is, his request is one we must agree to.”

  “Why?” I asked as Gower, Christopher, Alexander, and Queen Renata came over to us as well. “Chuckie just said he’s identified as a terrorist, and we all know the Alpha Four head honcho or honcha isn’t going to confirm anyone along as having true diplomatic immunity. And even if they do, why should we care? And even if we were nice and let Greg chat it up with the A-C diplomats, so what?”

  Everyone stared at me, Chuckie included. I got the impression this was something that I was supposed to know, meaning it was in one of those huge sets of briefing materials I’d been ignoring for a good year now. Hey, I really hadn’t noticed any lack in my ability to get the job done. However, I saw no reason to either share that I still hadn’t read said information or not to get an answer. I stared right back.

  White heaved a sigh. “Our Diplomatic Corps has great power within our society. Not only do they provide much needed protection and interference for us with the various world governments, but they hold sway with our people. While the Office of the Pontifex can and does make decisions, as do the Heads of Field and Imageering, if the Diplomatic Corps isn’t in agreement with those decisions, then the rest of our people will not be in agreement.”

  Chuckie was nodding, so he clearly knew about this. “So they’re more like Congress?” I asked him.

  “Close. More like the British Parliament. The Diplomatic Corps is in place to provide a check and balance against the Alpha Centaurion monarchy.”

  “So, they’re a full-on A-C thing, not just an Earth A-C thing?”

  “Correct,” White said. “And since Gregory and Alexander are both confirmed to be citizens of Alpha Centauri, they fall under those laws, which means that if they wish to speak to our Diplomatic Corps, then they may do so.”

  �
�Even if they’re traitors to two solar systems?” International politics was bad enough. Interstellar politics was starting to give me a headache.

  “I’m with Kitty,” Chuckie agreed. “I have more than enough precedents to not only deny them access to anyone but to ship them off never to be seen or heard from again.”

  White looked pained. “I’m sure you do, but . . .”

  Martini sighed. “But it could cause us more problems than letting him speak with the Diplomatic Corps.” He pointedly looked around. There were still a lot of random A-Cs here, watching the show with rapt interest. “Because our people here know, someone who’s anti the Pontifex or doesn’t like something Christopher or I do is going to find out, and then we have internal issues I’d like to avoid.” He shook his head. “Under the circumstances, just one should be sufficient, wouldn’t you think?”

  Alexander nodded slowly. “The Head Diplomat would be my suggestion.”

  “Isn’t that Robert Coleman?” I wasn’t a fan of the Colemans, other than Doreen, who wasn’t speaking to her parents and was also hugely happy about it. “Who’s married to that bi—”

  “Yes!” Christopher interrupted quickly. “The ones who tried to force Jeff to marry their daughter. Them.”

  “Dude, I’ve already failed all the protocol tests.”

  “Why make it worse?” he muttered.

  Alexander managed a weak grin. “The Diplomatic Corps are used to getting their way. They can be . . . quite forceful.”

  “So, they don’t use diplomacy so much as strong-arm techniques?”

  I got a lot of blank looks. Chuckie just laughed. “In that sense. Diplomats have jobs that entail more than just shaking hands and smoothing over problems. Besides, the power they’re used to is within their own A-C community. In Washington and elsewhere they do function as a protective layer.”

  “So, they’re the bulky, ugly sweater your mom makes you wear when it’s really cold out, even though you’d rather not?”