Kitty Katt 11: Alien Separation Read online

  Raves for the Alien novels:

  “For those craving futuristic high-jinks and gripping adventure, Koch is an absolute master!”

  —RT Book Reviews (top pick)

  “Koch still pulls the neat trick of quietly weaving in plot threads that go unrecognized until they start tying together—or snapping. This is a hyperspeed-paced addition to a series that shows no signs of slowing down.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Aliens, danger, and romance make this a fast-paced, wittily-written sf romantic comedy.”

  —Library Journal

  “Gini Koch’s Kitty Katt series is a great example of the lighter side of science fiction. Told with clever wit and non-stop pacing . . . it blends diplomacy, action and sense of humor into a memorable reading experience.”

  —Kirkus

  “The action is nonstop, the snark flies fast and furious. . . . Another fantastic addition to an imaginative series!”

  —Night Owl Sci-Fi (top pick)

  “Ms. Koch has carved a unique niche for herself in the sci-fi-romance category with this series. My only hope is that it lasts for a very long time.”

  —Fresh Fiction

  “This delightful romp has many interesting twists and turns as it glances at racism, politics, and religion en route . . . will have fanciers of cinematic sf parodies referencing Men in Black, Ghost Busters, and X-Men.”

  —Booklist (starred review)

  “It’s no secret that I love the series, and wish more people would pick it up and start reading.”

  —Gizmo’s Reviews

  DAW Books Presents GINI KOCH’s

  Alien Novels:

  TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN

  ALIEN TANGO

  ALIEN IN THE FAMILY

  ALIEN PROLIFERATION

  ALIEN DIPLOMACY

  ALIEN VS. ALIEN

  ALIEN IN THE HOUSE

  ALIEN RESEARCH

  ALIEN COLLECTIVE

  UNIVERSAL ALIEN

  ALIEN SEPARATION

  ALIEN IN CHIEF

  (coming in December 2015)

  Copyright © 2015 by Jeanne Cook.

  All Rights Reserved.

  Cover art by Daniel Dos Santos.

  Cover design by G-Force Design.

  DAW Book Collectors No. 1690.

  DAW Books are distributed by Penguin Group (USA).

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious.

  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book may have been stolen property and reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher. In such case neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

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  ISBN 978-0-698-19708-4

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  Version_1

  CONTENTS

  Praise for the Alien novels

  Also by Gini Koch

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  CHAPTER 41

  CHAPTER 42

  CHAPTER 43

  CHAPTER 44

  CHAPTER 45

  CHAPTER 46

  CHAPTER 47

  CHAPTER 48

  CHAPTER 49

  CHAPTER 50

  CHAPTER 51

  CHAPTER 52

  CHAPTER 53

  CHAPTER 54

  CHAPTER 55

  CHAPTER 56

  CHAPTER 57

  CHAPTER 58

  CHAPTER 59

  CHAPTER 60

  CHAPTER 61

  CHAPTER 62

  CHAPTER 63

  CHAPTER 64

  CHAPTER 65

  CHAPTER 66

  CHAPTER 67

  CHAPTER 68

  CHAPTER 69

  CHAPTER 70

  CHAPTER 71

  CHAPTER 72

  CHAPTER 73

  CHAPTER 74

  CHAPTER 75

  CHAPTER 76

  CHAPTER 77

  CHAPTER 78

  CHAPTER 79

  CHAPTER 80

  CHAPTER 81

  CHAPTER 82

  CHAPTER 83

  CHAPTER 84

  CHAPTER 85

  CHAPTER 86

  CHAPTER 87

  CHAPTER 88

  CHAPTER 89

  CHAPTER 90

  CHAPTER 91

  CHAPTER 92

  CHAPTER 93

  CHAPTER 94

  CHAPTER 95

  CHAPTER 96

  CHAPTER 97

  CHAPTER 98

  CHAPTER 99

  CHAPTER 100

  CHAPTER 101

  CHAPTER 102

  Excerpt from ALIEN IN CHIEF

  To all my fans at home and around the world—may we never be separated.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Once again all my love and thanks to my fantastic and incredibly patient editor, Sheila Gilbert (she’s a saint), and my awesome agent, Cherry Weiner (she’s my hero), without whom my career, and sanity, would not be what they are today. (Take that as you will.) Much love and chocolate is in the mail to you both.

  Same again to my awesome crit partner, Lisa Dovichi, and to the Fastest Beta Reader in the West, Mary Fiore, who once again came through at the eleventh hour because I was writing up until the eleventh hour, so to speak. (Okay, more than so to speak.) You’re the best and I love you both.

  My list of those I want to thank gets longer each book, and for that I’m extremely thankful, grateful, and just plain jazzed about. So, once again and in no pa
rticular order, here’s this book’s list of especially awesome folks who made my writing journey that much more special.

  Love and thanks to all the good folks at DAW Books and Penguin, to all my fans around the globe, my Hook Me Up! Gang, members of Team Gini new and old, all Alien Collective Members in Very Good Standing, Twitter followers, Facebook fans and friends, Pinterest followers, the fabulous bookstores that support me, and all the wonderful fans who come to my various book signings and conference panels—you’re all the best and I wouldn’t want to do this without each and every one of you along for the ride.

  Special love and extra shout-outs to: my awesome assistants, Joseph Gaxiola and Colette Chmiel for continuing to keep me sane, on time, and efficient; Bob & Mary Rehak for loving support and a fantastic vacation; Adrian & Lisa Payne, Hal & Dee Astell, and Duncan & Andrea Rittschof for continuing to always show up everywhere, with smiling faces and books (and Poofs) in hand, ensuring anywhere I’m at is always a warm, fun place to be; Oliver & Blanca Bernal for always having the welcome mat out and the comfy bed ready whenever I’m in town; Tom & Libby Thomas, Pat & Barbara Michel, Koren Cota, Chrysta Stuckless, Missy Katano, Christina Callahan, Amy Thacker, Jan Robinson, Mariann Asanuma, Koleta Parsley, Mikel Dornhecker, Tina Williams, Terry Smith, Joan Du, Janet Armentani, Colette Chmiel, Anne Taylor, and Shawn Sumrall for bestowing beautiful, wonderful, and delicious things upon me what seems like all the time; Robert Palsma for continuing to like everything I do; Paul Sparks for continuing to send me scientific proof that I know what I’m writing about; Edward Pulley for instantaneous research on minutiae that’s driving me nuts; and all members of The Stampeding Herd—Lisa Dovichi, Hal Astell, Barb Tyler, Marcy Rockwell, Lynn Crain, Sue Martin, Terry Smith, Phyllis Hemann, and Teresa Cutler-Broyles, for ensuring that, even though I was the most frighteningly late I’ve ever been on anything, the Herd kept me running at top speed—this book would not have gotten done without you guys.

  Always last in the list but never in my heart, thanks to my husband, Steve, and daughter, Veronica. You’re the best in the world and, as always, I’m glad you’re mine.

  REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD.

  Yeah, I have no idea what that means, either. But it’s what they say when you’re ready to go after someone who’s done their best to destroy you. I think it’s supposed to mean that you should be levelheaded and calm while plotting your enemy’s ultimate, untimely, and ugly demise.

  Sound plan. Pity that I work better angry. But then again, I’m pretty angry. So we should be good here.

  Of course, that’s probably being far too optimistic.

  Not sure what was more shocking—discovering that there’s a zillion and one universes out there and I’m representing in most of them, or discovering the identity of the Mastermind.

  Visiting another universe was kind of cool. Nice to see how the other half was living with basically no aliens on the planet. Not as well in some ways, just dandy in others. It was a “fun” vacation, if we define fun to mean spending a couple weeks unsure if I’d ever get home again or if I was going to spend the rest of my life in Oz, both literally and figuratively.

  Coming home was better—always nice to have that “took a trip but boy it’s great to sleep in my own bed and have great sex with my mega-sexy alien husband again” feeling.

  But while I got to save the day for the other world, I’m not so sure how to manage back in mine. The term “it’s complicated” has never been more apt. And, as in the other world, a frontal attack is probably not the right plan.

  A battle will be coming, though, one way or the other. Because it’s time to take the bull by the horns and ram those horns right into the Mastermind’s personal tenders. So to speak.

  But at least I won’t be fighting this battle with only a small commando force. For this battle, I’m going to ensure I have an army. And, to quote one of my favorite ’80s glam rockers, it’s time to make the Mastermind Stand and Deliver. For I am a Woman of the Multiverse and I will not allow evil to continue unchecked.

  • • •

  Yeah, fine, fine. Let’s go with what’s been working all this time. Yo, Mastermind—just thought you should know that Megalomaniac Girl is back and she’s madder and badder than ever. So watch your step, ’cause I’m coming for you.

  CHAPTER 1

  EARLY MORNING AND I are not best buds. I’m not a girl who sees any virtue in watching the sun rise. However, it was the morning after I’d come back from an unintended vacation, and my husband and I had spent the night wide awake and extremely active in the best possible way.

  Now we were lying next to each other, relaxing in the afterglow of a night very well spent.

  “I know who the Mastermind is.” As post-coitus comments went, this was probably not going to go down as the World’s Most Romantic Statement.

  “Yeah?” Jeff rolled onto his side to face me, leaning on his hand. His other hand stroked my body. It was great to feel his hand on my skin—I’d spent the last couple of weeks wondering if that would ever happen again.

  We had music on, and as Weezer’s “My Best Friend” hit our airwaves, I shifted likewise so we were face-to-face and I could also stroke Jeff’s chest and such. And I could look at him. Considering I hadn’t been sure I’d ever see his face again, it was nice to be here, like normal, as if nothing much had gone on.

  We were in Sydney Base, so the standard nightlight glow was in the room, meaning we could see each other. Aliens, of which Jeff was definitely one, were different from humans in many ways, not all of them physical. As near as I could tell, no A-Cs liked to sleep in the extreme dark. I’d never asked why—and as I’d learned during my foray out of this world, I probably needed to be a bit more curious about many things.

  However, since we’d moved into the American Centaurion Embassy in Washington, D.C., I’d gotten used to sleeping in the actual dark again. But this was kind of a nice retro moment. I’d spent my first night after discovering aliens were on the planet in a room very like this one, half of it with Jeff. The best half.

  I was willing to stay in bed with Jeff forever but, partially because I’d had a two-week “vacation” in another universe, duty was calling in a loud and insistent manner. Also, Mr. Clock shared that it was six in the morning, and that meant that our daughter was going to be up in an hour, give or take.

  “Yeah. Only . . . I don’t know if I can tell you.”

  “Because you’re worried I’ll give away the fact that I know because I can’t lie any better than the rest of the A-Cs, right?”

  “Right. You sound like you had this conversation already.”

  “I did. With you, in that sense.”

  “Oh. Other Me figured it out?” I’d switched universes with another version of me. Yeah, my life was just that kind of exciting. Hers was, too, now, come to think of it. Oh well, she was me. She’d roll with the punches.

  “Pretty much.”

  “How? I mean, I realize I’m great at looking at accepted truths and quickly spotting the flaws and all that, but she couldn’t have had a lot to go on.”

  “Oh, she didn’t. But she had the one key piece of information we’ve never had. The same new fact I figure you discovered while you were in her universe—her Chuck hates the Mastermind’s guts, with good reason.”

  Other Me was married to my best guy friend since high school, Charles Reynolds. Well, her universe’s Charles Reynolds, at any rate. It had been instructive and interesting to see how my life might have been different. Hoped she’d enjoyed seeing how the other universe lived.

  “Wow, yeah. So, you know who it is?”

  Jeff nodded as “Bad Blood” by Ministry came on. “Almost the worst person it could be.”

  “Got that right. So, does Chuckie know?”

  “No.” Jeff sighed. “We’ve managed to keep it from him. For the whole week and a half that we’ve known. And only
because we’ve been so busy and focused on fixing things with the Australian government and getting you and your Cosmic Alternate to switch back.”

  “Did Malcolm already know?” Malcolm Buchanan had Dr. Strange powers. At least as far as I was concerned. If he didn’t want you to see him, you didn’t see him. If he said it was so, it was probably so. Luckily for me, my mother had assigned him to be my bodyguard when we first got to D.C. She’d assigned the Buchanan in the other universe onto Other Me a lot sooner. Apparently things were dicey wherever I was. Go me.

  “Yeah. Buchanan’s known for what sounds like three years. But he has no actual proof. None of us here do.”

  “We had no proof, either, other than the fact that Cliff Goodman was that universe’s Charles’ lifelong enemy. And the fact that he tried to kill Other Me, their kids, Charles, James, and Malcolm. He’d already . . .” Murdered my mother in that world. Along with the rest of her and Buchanan’s teams, which included other people I knew and loved in this world.

  “I know,” Jeff said gently. “We figured it all out. Well, most of it. I’m sure we’re both missing parts of the whole nightmare.” He grinned. “And I know I don’t have the full story of how you kicked butt and saved the day.”

  “You just assume I did that?” I hadn’t really had time to brief everyone on what had happened, in part because Chuckie was here with the group that had come to fix things with Australia and I hadn’t wanted to let anything slip.

  Jeff kissed me, his typical awesome kiss. “Yeah, that’s my default assumption,” he said after his lips and tongue had owned mine for a good, long time, emphasis on good. “That you’re going to do what has to be done, better than anyone else ever could.”

  “I could get used to this form of hero worship.”

  He laughed. “There’s nothing wrong with accurate hero worship, baby.”

  Snuggled my face in between his awesome pecs and rubbed against his chest hair as the Veronicas sang “I Could Get Used To This.” “Works for me. After all, I hero worship your bedroom and leadership skills, so we’re even.”

  Jeff chuckled. “Always nice to be appreciated.”

  “Back atcha. So, what do we do? I don’t know how to tell Chuckie that the guy he thinks is his best friend is the reason his wife is dead. He’s normally laid back and able to roll with whatever’s thrown at him, but I’m not willing to bet he’ll be able to deal rationally under the circumstances.”